SHORT
DEFINITION FOR ADAPTABILITY:
Responding to changes effectively
Responding to changes effectively
- I am willing to try new ways of doing things
- I willingly accept changes to work plans
- I can stay engaged when I get “re-directed” by business conditions
- It’s easy for me to shift from one job to the next
- It’s easy for me to ask for help if I am asked to do something that I am unfamiliar with
ARTICLE: 15 Signs That You Are Emotionally Intelligent
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15 Signs That You Are Emotionally Intelligent
Emotional intelligence is a choice
and a discipline, not an innate quality bestowed upon the lucky. Find out if
you have what it takes in this critical skill.
When emotional intelligence (EQ)
first appeared to the masses, it served as the missing link in a peculiar
finding: People with average IQs outperform those with the highest IQs 70
percent of the time. This anomaly threw a massive wrench into the broadly held
assumption that IQ was the sole source of success.
Decades
of research now point to emotional intelligence as being the critical factor
that sets star performers apart from the rest of the pack. The connection is so
strong that 90 percent of top performers have high emotional intelligence.
Emotional
intelligence is the “something” in each of us that is a bit intangible. It
affects how we manage behavior, navigate social complexities, and make personal
decisions to achieve positive results.
Despite
the significance of EQ, its intangible nature makes it very difficult to know
how much you have and what you can do to improve if you’re lacking. You can
always take a scientifically validated test, such as the one that comes with
the Emotional
Intelligence 2.0 book.
Unfortunately,
quality (scientifically valid) EQ tests aren’t free. So, I’ve analyzed the data
from the million-plus people TalentSmart has tested in order to identify the
behaviors that are the hallmarks of a high EQ. What follows are sure signs that
you have a high EQ.
1. You Have a
Robust Emotional Vocabulary.
All
people experience emotions, but it is a select few who can accurately identify
them as they occur. Our research shows that only 36 percent of people can do
this, which is problematic because unlabeled emotions often go misunderstood,
which leads to irrational choices and counterproductive actions.
People
with high EQs master their emotions because they understand them, and they use
an extensive vocabulary of feelings to do so. While many people might describe
themselves as simply feeling “bad,” emotionally intelligent people can pinpoint
whether they feel “irritable,” “frustrated,” “downtrodden,” or “anxious.” The
more specific your word choice, the better insight you have into exactly how
you are feeling, what caused it, and what you should do about it.
2. You’re
Curious About People.
It
doesn’t matter if they’re introverted or extroverted, emotionally
intelligent people are curious about everyone around them. This curiosity is the
product of empathy, one of the most significant gateways to a high EQ. The more
you care about other people and what they’re going through, the more curiosity
you’re going to have about them.
3. You Embrace
Change.
Emotionally
intelligent people are flexible and are constantly adapting. They know that
fear of change is paralyzing and a major threat to their success and happiness.
They look for change that is lurking just around the corner, and
they form a plan of action should these changes occur.
4. You Know
Your Strengths And Weaknesses.
Emotionally
intelligent people don’t just understand emotions; they know what they’re good
at and what they’re terrible at. They also know who pushes their buttons and
the environments (both situations and people) that enable them to succeed.
Having a high EQ means you know your strengths and you know how to lean into
them and use them to your full advantage while keeping your weaknesses from
holding you back.
5. You’re A
Good Judge Of Character.
Much
of emotional intelligence comes down to social awareness: the ability to read
other people, know what they’re about, and understand what they’re going
through. Over time, this skill makes you an exceptional judge of character.
People are no mystery to you. You know what they’re all about and understand
their motivations, even those that lie hidden beneath the surface.
6. You Are
Difficult To Offend.
If you
have a firm grasp of whom you are, it’s difficult for someone to say or do
something that gets your goat. Emotionally intelligent people are
self-confident and open-minded, which creates a pretty thick skin. You may even
poke fun at yourself or let other people make jokes about you, because you are
able to mentally draw the line between humor and degradation.
7. You Let Go
of Mistakes.
Emotionally
intelligent people distance themselves from their mistakes, but do so without
forgetting them. By keeping their mistakes at a safe distance, yet still handy
enough to refer to, they are able to adapt and adjust for future success. It
takes refined self-awareness to walk this tightrope between dwelling and
remembering. Dwelling too long on your mistakes makes you anxious and gun shy,
while forgetting about them completely makes you bound to repeat them. The key
to balance lies in your ability to transform failures into nuggets of
improvement. This creates the tendency to get right back up every time you fall
down.
8. You Don’t
Hold Grudges.
The
negative emotions that come with holding onto a grudge are actually a stress
response. Just thinking about the event sends your body into fight-or-flight
mode, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the
hills when faced with a threat. When the threat is imminent, this reaction is
essential to your survival, but when the threat is ancient history, holding
onto that stress wreaks havoc on your body and can have devastating health consequences
over time. In fact, researchers at Emory University have shown that holding
onto stress contributes to high blood pressure and heart disease. Holding onto
a grudge means you’re holding onto stress, and emotionally intelligent people
know to avoid this at all costs. Letting go of a grudge not only makes you feel
better now but can also improve your health.
9. You
Neutralize Toxic People.
Dealing
with difficult people is frustrating and exhausting for most. High EQ
individuals control their interactions with toxic people by keeping their
feelings in check. When they need to confront a toxic person, they approach the
situation rationally. They identify their own emotions and don’t allow anger or
frustration to fuel the chaos. They also consider the difficult person’s
standpoint and are able to find solutions and common ground. Even when things
completely derail, emotionally intelligent people are able to take the toxic
person with a grain of salt to avoid letting him or her bring them down.
10. You Don’t
Seek Perfection.
Emotionally
intelligent people won’t set perfection as their target because they know that
it doesn’t exist. Human beings, by our very nature, are fallible. When
perfection is your goal, you’re always left with a nagging sense of failure
that makes you want to give up or reduce your effort. You end up spending your
time lamenting what you failed to accomplish and what you should have done
differently instead of moving forward, excited about what you’ve achieved and
what you will accomplish in the future.
11. You
Disconnect.
Taking
regular time off the grid is a sign of a high EQ because it helps you to keep
your stress under control and to live in the moment. When you make yourself
available to your work 24/7, you expose yourself to a constant barrage of
stressors. Forcing yourself offline and even—gulp!—turning off your phone gives
your body and mind a break. Studies have shown that something as simple as an
e-mail break can lower stress levels. Technology enables constant communication
and the expectation that you should be available 24/7. It is extremely
difficult to enjoy a stress-free moment outside of work when an e-mail that
will change your train of thought and get you thinking (read: stressing) about
work can drop onto your phone at any moment.
12. You Limit
Your Caffeine Intake.
Drinking
excessive amounts of caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline, and
adrenaline is the source of the fight-or-flight response. The fight-or-flight
mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response to ensure
survival. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when
you’re responding to a curt e-mail. When caffeine puts your brain and body into
this hyper-aroused state of stress, your emotions overrun your behavior.
Caffeine’s long half-life ensures you stay this way as it takes its sweet time
working its way out of your body. High-EQ individuals know that caffeine is
trouble, and they don’t let it get the better of them.
13. You Get
Enough Sleep.
It’s
difficult to overstate the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional
intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain
literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or
discarding them (which causes dreams) so that you wake up alert and
clearheaded. High-EQ individuals know that their self-control, attention, and
memory are all reduced when they don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep.
So, they make sleep a top priority.
14. You Stop
Negative Self-Talk in Its Tracks.
The
more you ruminate on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of
our negative thoughts are just that—thoughts, not facts. When it feels like
something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural tendency
to perceive threats (inflating the frequency or severity of an event).
Emotionally intelligent people separate their thoughts from the facts in order
to escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive, new outlook.
15. You Won’t
Let Anyone Limit Your Joy.
When your
sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other
people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally
intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let
anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them. While it’s
impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t
have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions
with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what other people are thinking or
doing, your self-worth comes from within.
Bringing It
All Together:
Unlike
your IQ, your EQ is highly malleable. As you train your brain by repeatedly
practicing new emotionally intelligent behaviors, it builds the pathways needed
to make them into habits. As your brain reinforces the use of these new
behaviors, the connections supporting old, destructive behaviors die off.
Before long, you begin responding to your surroundings with emotional
intelligence without even having to think about it.
Please share your thoughts in the
comments section, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.
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