SHORT
DEFINITION FOR COMMUNICATION:
Listening to others, followed by paraphrasing what they have said and then responding with the intention of addressing what they have said.
Listening to others, followed by paraphrasing what they have said and then responding with the intention of addressing what they have said.
- I ask clarifying questions to make sure I understand what someone is saying
- I listen when someone is talking without thinking ahead to something else
- I listen to other people’s viewpoints and I repeat them back so they know they were listened to
- My first response to what someone has said aligns with their point of discussion
- I give the person speaking my full attention
- I respectfully communicate with all team members at all times
- I avoid gossip and I call it out when it is being said
- I avoid interrupting people as they are speaking
- I avoid finishing sentences for people
10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation - A TED Talk by CelesteHeadlee (click here to view)
ARTICLE: 5 Ways To Improve Your Communication Skills
Full article below
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5 WAYS TO IMPROVE YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS – by Zoe B
Communication
is one of the most important skills we can ever learn. It leads everything that
we do—whether we’re communicating at work to meet deadlines and achieve results, or communicating with
friends, family and partners to build
strong relationships. So many problems stem from poor communication and there’s
no wonder why, really. We are not taught how to communicate properly at school;
it’s something we have to ‘pick up’ from the people around us. Unfortunately,
unless we are lucky enough to have stellar communicators in our close circle,
we can often pick up bad habits.
I’ve made it my business to learn a thing or two about communication, and I’ll
share a few key things with you today. One of the most important, yet
overlooked skills of communicating is this:
Be a Good Listener
That’s
right—most people have no idea that listening is a necessary part of the
communication process, but the reality is that listening is an essential
part of communication: not only does it help you to build rapport with other
people, it ‘s also a way of demonstrating respect for others. When people feel
respected, it’s very easy to build long, happy relationships. Think about how
great it feels when someone is intently listening to you, and those times when
they are completely enthralled with what you are saying. This makes you feel
valued and does wonders to aid communication. People just want to be heard,so
by listening intently you can build trust at the subconscious level. Look at it
the other way around: we all know people who are really bad listeners. They
love the sound of their own voices so much that you can’t get a word in
edgewise, and when it’s finally your turn to talk, they aren’t really
listening. In contrast, how does this make you feel? Frustrated, and of low
value. By not listening to you, the other person is essentially telling you
that you don’t have anything worth saying. One thing I do want to get straight
here is that listening and shyness are not the same things. People often get
good listening confused with shyness, as someone who listens more than they
speak might be assumed to be shy or hesitant. What’s important is active listening: paying attention, and then
demonstrating your understanding of a conversation by repeating key points in
your responses. At the end of the day, people just want to feel like they are
understood.
So why are people such bad
listeners?
One reason is
that we think at a speed that’s much faster than we speak. Research has shown
that we talk at between 120 and 150 words per minute, yet we think at the rate
of 600 – 800 words per minute! What this means is that it’s easy to get
distracted by our inner thoughts when people speak to us, because our minds
work so much faster than our mouths! This does mean that instead of listening,
we might be pondering other things like what to have for dinner that night or
which route to take home. We need to be aware of when this is happening so
we can re-focus on the present conversation—there’s nothing worse than noticing
that someone is lost in their own thoughts when they should be listening to
you. In case you were wondering, listening (unlike talking) is a skill that you
can’t over-use. Imagine an example like this: “I have had it up to here with
Bob! All he does is listen and listen and listen! He just never stops
listening! I can’t take anymore of his listening, it’s driving me crazy!” Or
perhaps this is the more likely scenario: “Bill never listens! He just loves
the sound of his own voice. All he does is talk at me over and over again! I
feel like he never listens to anything I say!” If you look at the super
achievers of this world they are all composed listeners. You don’t see them
talking over others or drifting off mid-conversation. This is because they
understand the power of listening.
5 Ways to Improve Your
Communication Skills
1. Never talk over people.
This
demonstrates a real lack of respect. By talking over someone what you’re
basically saying is “I don’t care what you’re saying—what I have to say is more
important”.
2. Don’t finish other people’s
sentences.
I used to do
this a lot thinking I was helpfully finishing people’s sentences for them.
Wrong. Research has shown by doing this you are dis-empowering the other person
because you are taking control of the conversation, so bite your tongue!
3. Paraphrase.
If you want to
show that you have really understood someone, then paraphrasing a great tool.
All you do is repeat back to someone what they have just said, before you
comment yourself. Here’s an example: “So Barney, what I’m hearing is that
results are the number one objective for you right now and we need to find some
fast solutions for you?”
4. Listen actively.
Focus on active listening instead
of passive listening. The
difference is that active listening means you engage and respond to the other
person based on what they have said, passive listening is simply the act of
listening with no response.
5. Maintain eye contact.
By looking the
other person in the eye, you are proving that you’re interested in what they’re
saying. This also keeps you focused and less distracted.
FURTHER READING:
Book Link - Amazon.com:
"Presence – Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges” by Amy Cuddy
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